Conversion

Under normal circumstances, I would probably put something like this on my Tarot blog, but since this is going to majorly affect my life, I decided to put it here. And besides, it's been a while since I posted anything at all.

If you're on my Facebook, you probably know what I'm talking about. If I haven't told you, I'm converting to Paganism. Why? Well, I was raised loosely Christian, and despite the fact that I really liked going to church and feeling like I was a part of something bigger than myself, I never really felt the connection to what I was being told. At first, I thought it was just the denomination of Christianity that didn't fit, but after going through a multitude of churches ranging from Baptist to a very liberal church that openly welcomed homosexuals (like my aunt, who introduced me to the church) to pray with them, I soon discovered that there was a bigger problem. But what could it be? I could feel the presence of a power higher than myself, and I felt someone listening when I spoke, so that could only be God, right?

Eventually, I broke away from the Christian community because, really, what was the point? Nobody believed the way I did, and I didn't want to feel pressured any more than I wanted to pressure them by talking about the differences in our beliefs. I've floated in limbo this way for a long time, until just recently.

The day after my 18th birthday, I finally decided to go get a deck of Tarot cards. I've always had a fascination with the unknown and believed that there was a mystical side of the world that was outside the realm of explanation. I myself have had deja vu since I was small, a cognition strong enough that I recognize every minute detail of a situation as it unfolds (including my thought processses, the way everyone moves, the way the wind blows, sounds, etc.) as if the moment in time had happened exactly the same way before. It's impossible to really explain and probably impossible to understand unless you've experienced it yourself.

I don't know what inspired me to buy a Tarot deck, but despite my feeling that there is something mystical about the world around me, the accuracy of the deck was enough to really shock the hell out of me. I worked a good 15 readings the first day, and all the questions I came up with were answered as if someone was speaking to me, and sure enough, they came true. It was an enlightening experience I'll never forget, even if I never took up another Tarot deck.

Anyway, this led me to do more research on Tarot, which led me to a youtube channel by Sayge Sorrel. She had quite a few really interesting vlog videos about her life as a new Pagan and her experiences as she became accustomed to it. Her views were so surprisingly similar to mine that I began looking into Paganism, and found information that was nearly identical to my beliefs, give or take a few details. I eagerly threw myself into finding out more, and this is what I've found:

Paganism is an envelope term, like "Christian." There are many different denominations (or traditions), the foremost being Wiccan. Although I do participate in Wiccan rituals, I don't like using the term because many posers my age like to pretend to be Wiccan "Witches" and I don't like to be associated with uneducated fools. Just sayin'.

Anyhow, there are many traditions and values associated with Paganism, which I'm looking into, but the basic belief is that the world around us is a blessed place, and we are all good so long as we make good choices. Everything in the universe is united and works together to create what is around us. Most Pagans worship a God and a Goddess, which I fully intend to do for one reason -- I believe in a power greater than myself. I don't believe this power is male or female, or that it is any number, including one. To worship that which I believe created us all, taking on the roles of God and Goddess to describe it simply takes the ideas I worship and separates them out in a way that allows me to better pray for something. If I was to pray openly to one diety, it would be a goddess, simply because I'm a woman and I feel more openly connected to a female power than a male one.

I don't know for certain if other Pagans view the God and Goddess the way I do. I'm still studying, but I feel comfortable with this religion. It's very relaxed and centered on every individual's views. Most Pagans support free exploration of your personal views, and many denominations are a mixture of religions (including some outside of Paganism) that match what they believe. There is no central government for their churches, and nobody points fingers at sinners.

Please forgive any statements that seem to be bashing Christians. I mean no ill will. I fully believe the diety known as God and my diety are one in the same. As Ghandi said, "Religions are different roads converging to the same point. What does it matter that we take a different road, so long as we reach the same goal. Wherein is the cause for quarreling?"

Blessed be! ♥