A Little Flare

I want something new. I want something that draws you in and refuses to spit you back out, that makes real life seem distant. I want it to make you cry when it's over. I want them to reach into your hearts and bury themselves there, so that it takes days for you to get things back to normal. I want humor, and action, and drama. I want originality and to test the lines of taboos. All of these things I want to encompass in my first novel series, and so many more.

I'm not a magician (sadly) or Cassandra Clare. I finished reading the Mortal Instruments series last night and was so heart-stricken to find out that there wouldn't be another book for a year that I could hardly sleep. In between reading, I worked, and it felt surreal. That's what a really good book does to you. It has to feel real, something I have trouble with.

I don't want to put Anya's story away. She is the character that's most alive to me out of all the ones I've written. Her story shines, and I absolutely love the ideas that come to me when I work with her. But I must face the fact that although her story is somewhat original, it is based on a very overused concept. I must realize that although I think I've injected enough originality to combat this, I might not have the talent to write such a story.

There's a good reason for this, which hit me in the gut last night while I puzzled over ways to fix Anya's story. The problem arises because she has no memory. Every story I've read that feels real to me has a common thread: the main character reflects on the reality versus the fantasy. With Anya, she wakes up in the fantasy with no memory of the reality. For a better author with more experience, this can be fixed, but the fact remains that I am not that author. I have very little experience with young adult fiction. Although I've been writing for seven years, I've always focused on adult romance and suspense, something that's a sort of "comfort zone" for me. There's always the same basic outline, always the same basic ideas, and you just twist them in your own, unique way. For this, the most important thing is your writing style, not your story, or even your characters. It's your "readability" that is supposed to draw in the reader.

With young adult fiction, the sky is the limit. The story is the heart of the novel, the backbone of the book or series. You can mold it however you want, taunt the reader by making them think one thing, then yank the carpet from underneath them and throw them into a magnificent twist. I wanted this freedom, I have it now, but I haven't yet mastered how to use it.

The point of all this rambling is this: I don't want to write a new novel. I have no idea if I'll even try to write it or get it published if I do. It may be nothing like what I wanted, and it may be everything. My plan is to work on a concept that hasn't been worked with before, or at least not often.

I'm taking the idea from a novel I wrote called Chasing Shadows. It was a half-assed attempt I made at the age of thirteen that came out a decent 60k words. It was about two thieves going after the same prize, a cursed artifact that was both alluring and deadly. They both went after it, they had to fight each other for it, and they were nearly caught, leaving empty handed. In the end they had to trust each other to get get inside the building and figure out who it was that was stalking them and seemed to know at least one of their identities, and of course, they fell in love.

I adored this novel. It was so fun to write, even if it didn't turn out particularly well. I love the idea of thieves, cloaked all in black, a villain and yet somehow the hero of my tale. So I've decided to make an attempt at a story about thieves again, this time a YA (young adult) novel with a paranormal element.

I haven't figured out much more than that. I may not ever write a word of it, but I'd like to try. There's so much I want to try with this series that I've never tried before. One of the hardest will be figuring out how to make it into a series. That, and finding the time to write it (sigh).